“Cogito, ergo sum” – I Think, therefore I am – René Descartes

Thinking is an interesting phenomenon. It can create a perception one moment and completely discard it the next. It can wander through the memory lanes and bring smiles to the faces. It can also get caught in a negative loop and sink in depression. A sudden recall of a bad memory can suddenly ruin the whole day. And an imagination of a happy time can make the time fly. It puts and removes values in things and people with just a change of thought. It contemplates, chooses, decides and judges almost everything it can put a thought on. It is non-stop – incessant – continuously engaged in its own thinking process. Thinking also needs a thinker. The thinker thinks. It is other matter that the thinking can be conscious or subconscious. Sometimes, even the thinker does not know what is going on in the mind – or underneath it. Who is the thinker? It sounds like “me”? My moods change with the change of thoughts. My perception of people and things change the moment my thinking changes about them. My actions are heavily influenced by my opinions, choices, preferences, logic, my own point of view and what I think about things, people and events around me. I have my fantasies, imaginations, inspirations, desires, dreams, experiences, regrets in life, plans for the future, emotions for the people I know, my idea of right and wrong, my beliefs, my faith, my style, personality, self-image and my way of looking at the life among innumerable other “my” characteristics for which this space will be insufficient. The thinking is there and the thinker is there. The most interesting thing in the whole phenomenon, though, is that the thinker thinks that it controls the thinking, without realizing that without thinking, it would not have existed in the first place. Is “thinking” independent of “me”? Do “I” create the thoughts or simply get caught in the thoughts that have been created? Then, what about my perception of the world and reality that I “believe” in?” What is my information based on? Thoughts? Who am I?

First of all, to assess the validity of this question, I will need to examine if I have the capability of separating “myself” from the thoughts – that is if the thoughts and myself are actually separate from each other. If I can observe the thoughts independently, whatever they may be, I might be able to analyze how the thoughts are created and to what extent they influence “me”, my actions, and my perceptions. Then, I might also be able to observe if my “own” knowledge, if any, exists independent of thoughts and that may help develop a deeper insight into my own existence. This is to look only at the apparent and conscious thinking process. What about the thoughts that have imbibed in my personality as habits, traits and dispositions? What about the thoughts that have become condensed in form of emotions? Do “I” really know what is going on within me? My first problem will be to find out what all sorts of thoughts are there and where all have they reached within my body to start with. The problem compounds if what I think is “me”, is a thought itself. That explains why so many people are advocates of logic and the thinking process. In my personal life, I have met people who argue that it is “good” to think. There are academic gurus and scholars who profess the benefits of “Brain Storming” (without actually knowing what thinking is and if brain really thinks as they believe). I do not know who I am in the first place and I am going out there trying to find the secrets of this universe with my mind. What can be more ironic? I have also met people, a large number of them, who say they are “souls”, “energies” and “vibrations” – things that cannot be seen – and are beyond the realm of the thoughts anyway. They are there, in a true physical form, same as any other human being, but they do not say that they are the bodies. They are breathing, eating, sleeping and carrying on with their lives each moment but they say that they are “souls” – more likely that they “believe” they are the souls. Does anyone ever bother to stop for a while and think what they are thinking – and saying? And then, they argue whether God exists or not. I say that they should first make sure whether they exist or not. Because if they are souls and not bodies, or souls living in the bodies, that should be established first. My question is, if they are so sure that they are the “souls” and “energies”, why are they wasting their lives in accumulating wealth, striving for fame, burying themselves in the material things – everything possible to elevate their egos? What ego has got to do with the soul? And since when the soul was determined by the thinking mind and logic? And what is the soul? Does it think? If you are a soul, or energy or whatever, then who is thinking? And what insights or revelations thinking has brought about? It just does not make sense – even logically.

The current state of mind in which we live is not only cluttered but is in a state of continuous conflicts that raises one possibility one moment and almost immediately denies it the next. The answers, awareness and insights that we seek are not forthcoming because we are looking for the answers in the thoughts, in logic. Generally in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we are not even aware of our physical existence. We are traveling in a train but the mind is somewhere else. The mouth is chewing a gum, hand is holding a briefcase, a foot is tapping, there are tens of people around us but the mind is somewhere else. For a moment it comes back, looks around and then wanders off once again. How many unconscious habits do we house that happen involuntarily? Shaking a leg while sitting, playing with a pen or pencil while talking, scratching, twitching among innumerable other. The need is to first start developing an active awareness of our physical existence. It is, however, not possible to develop such an awareness if one does not recognize the superficiality and futility of the thinking process to begin with. That is not to say that we develop a view against the thoughts, logic or the thinking process. This is a mistake that most people make when discussing or reading a topic such as this. The reason is simple. The mind tends to compare and judge. It is a thinking mind that is reading or discussing the question of its own validity or existence. A radical change is required. It has to start at the thought level – there is no other choice. Instant enlightenment, that many wish, just does not happen. Though, it can be a possibility. For the thinking mind, active awareness and periods of silence should open a way.

Just last week (May 2005), scientists engaged in the experimentation of brain mapping concluded that the brain works independent of the thinking mind. Things that people in their most alert state do not recall or do not claim to have ever seen, were found recorded in the brain cells. In one of the experiments, a group of people were shown a large of pictures in rapid succession – so rapid that it was not possible for a person to actually “see” or “record” it with all the attention and concentration. When shown again the same pictures in normal conditions, they denied ever seeing them. However, the mapping of their brain found those images well stored. What else does that brain contain that we do not know about? Well, the science says that in our normal condition, we use only 10% of the actual brain potential. How can we, then, claim to “know” anything? We do not even know what is going on within our own bodies, let aside the things outside the body. The process of “knowing” oneself will be the spiritual process. Various spiritual masters have given various methods. However, the key is self-realization. There was a time when faith and devotion based spirituality worked well. In the present times, complete and selfless surrender is almost impossible – the ego is such. People want to acquire “enlightenment” for themselves. They want to “become” enlightened or spiritual. How can they surrender themselves to the almighty? They actually want almighty to do them a favor and make them special. And they think that burning a candle and tossing a few coins is good enough bait. Think again.

Having said so much about thinking, it should also be said that the idea here is not to invalidate the thinking mind or discard it. That would be going from one illusion to the other. This is the mistake most people make when they get their hands on spiritual teachings and techniques. They erase one set of thoughts and build the other. The other one may look better but it is no different than the first one in essence. It will build a new theory or philosophy against the earlier one. Spirituality is not based “against” any other premise. It is simply asking you to engage in a self-realization process and discover the truth by yourself. Proving a point is not the essence of spirituality. Writing on the spiritual topics is not to discredit other theories or prove anything wrong but to create “awareness” – more in the sense of drawing attention - towards the natural aspects of human life. The discussion here is not to prove the logic wrong but draw attention towards something that the people are unaware of – or have been aware but not acting upon. If there is even a slight self-awareness of the thought process, the question should emerge that if I am not even aware of the origin and extent of thoughts (conscious and subconscious) and get influenced by the rapidly and randomly generating thoughts, shouldn’t I try and find out if what I think I “know” is not actually a collection of thought-based information? Spirituality does not ask you to believe in anything. It asks you to discover it by yourself – whatever it may be. Even if you find out something other than what you were told, you will actually “know” it. People do not realize that it requires the same amount of self-realization and enlightenment to disapprove or discredit something as it requires to prove it. Some people believe in God and some do not. Both are resting their laurels on the false premises. Faith is one thing. To actually “know” whether God exists or not one will have to engage in a spiritual, self-realization, process. You will, then, “know” by yourself what the truth is – whatever it may be. It could actually be something you never thought of. To begin with, one must engage in “doing” something to approve or disapprove a concept rather than trying to justify it through logic or arguments.

Einstein once said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Buddha said that we all create our own realities based on our thoughts. It is not the material reality that is the issue but the reality that we tend to perceive in the cause and nature of their existence. For once, looking closely at the thoughts and observing the thinking process in silent awareness may open a door into spiritual world.

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